New Year, new look blog, new ideas and some sense of purpose in
posting. Yippee! Something that has been playing in my mind for a while
relates to one of the concepts mentioned in theTen Traits of Asperger's (women, girls) which I mention from time to time. The one about not fitting
in, not feeling as though one belongs on this planet...
As a
teenager and young woman, I frequently fantasized about aliens landing
and taking me into their spaceship. There, rather than do horrendous
experiments or try to inseminate me, they would actually improve me.
Using my genetic code as the basis for some lovely sciency rebuilding
from a cellular level, they would take all my bits and improve them to
the best they could be, according to my chromosomes. I was big on
genetic inheritance! So, banished would be the asthma and allergies,
which came from my father and instead I might have my mum's stoicism and
physical constitution. It was a fervent wish and a frequent fantasy.
Now
in my fifties, with diagnosed Multiple Sclerosis, managed hypertension
and flat feet, some of that has come true: I don't get asthma any more!
Hours of my life were spent in mental anguish; alone in my bedroom
because I had no idea whatsoever of how to go out and be more sociable
or how to get hold of that elusive but expected accessory, a boyfriend.
At School I was not really a 'loner', but asthma excluded me from many
sports, which in turn meant exclusion from the groups of 'fit and
popular' types; while interest led me to a small group who were rather
nerdy and insular. They didn't do well with boys at first, then improved
as I continued to lag behind. If those aliens could have mended me,
perhaps I wouldn't have been so lonely for so long?
I really
didn't fit in. It's too easy to say that all teenagers are disaffected,
or spend time being lonely and confused, of course they do, it's part of
normal development. Looking back though, it was all of those years. It
varied, there were some social occasions, but so few I can still recount
them in detail. Some relief was finding said nerdy friends wanting to
go the the local weekly folk club, when we were all seventeen. That was
fun, we all passed for eighteen easily, so drank pints of mild ale and
sang along to hairy folk bands. Apart from that though? I was no party
animal. Clearly alien myself, I needed rescuing!
Standing in the
garden at night, looking up at the stars, I would send out my heartfelt
wishes in telepathic form - sometimes even empathic, once I knew that
word - in the hope that an advanced society on the wing, scooting across
the cosmos, would alight and immediately 'know' me as friend. Then,
without pain or making me forget what happened, they would transport me
into their craft and use sundry molecular machinery in my remaking. It
was a lovely fantasy. Sometimes even now, I wonder if those evolved and
lovely beings are about somewhere, taking notes of all the requests from
disaffected teens, or Aspie women around the globe. Wouldn't it be nice
if they decided to drop by? I bet they'd like cake...!
Wednesday 9 January 2013
Monday 7 January 2013
2013, unlucky for some?
Ah, welcome to a New Year earthlings. You celebrate a brand new
opportunity to make dashing promises, to break hopefully into resolute
good deeds and make hay while the sun shines endlessly in California and
the Sahara Desert. But this earth doesn’t turn like the pages of a
calendar! Nor are there any dates written into the cosmos.
On December 21st the Earth stood farthest away from the sun and an annual point of change took place, as the days began to lengthen again towards the coming seasons of Spring and Summer. This has been going on a lot longer than humans have been able to make calendars. So, as some individuals rue the number thirteen this year, others are grateful that we are all still here to celebrate anything at all, thanks to the laziness of the Mayans in not providing us with a longer calendar. Five thousand years wasn't enough for some!
Notwithstanding, it's the next few decades we all have to contend with, (your version of a) god willing. Or maybe, mankind willing, since we seem to have the casting vote in how to manage our own continuity as a species. Stirring and serious stuff Deb, now what?
You (thank you for reading!) may be wondering what the jolly heck I'm on about. I began writing this last evening soon after I and my husband had just watched the film Bruce Almighty, starring Jim Carrey, Morgan Freeman and Jennifer Aniston with her hair. It was great fun and carried a simple message to do with kindness and responsibility. This is what I wish a lot, though the calendar date plays little part in the efficacy of those wishes. All the New Year resolutions in the whole world won't make one jot of difference to how we end up unless we are all willing to behave more kindly, speak more truthfully and take more personal responsibility on a daily basis.
God has little to do with any of this I feel sure, as 'free will' is basically what humans live by. It is what defines us because we can change the world. Every day of our lives we make changes away from a place where natural processes happened at a pace snails could deal with, to one where instant messaging is no longer telepathic, if it ever was. Our instant, wasteful world is becoming the new nature.
No, thirteen isn't an unlucky number: unlucky is the soul that permits this kind of intrusive thinking, I reckon. We have choice which is a privilege in the mammalian world. We need to exercise it more in favour of life; far less with regard to 'luck' and excessively in the direction of kindliness. Truth is something we each grapple with because it is so conditional and personal; but it need not be frightening! Inconvenient maybe, but not something to avoid through fear. Our whole strange, disorganised, damp and colourful world could benefit greatly from individual humans waking up to their own truth. I think that would be a great day to add to the Calendar :)
Here is a nice picture of some cakes, they are free of wheat, low in fat (no added saturates) and have half the amount of sugar usual for sponge cakes. They were darned yummy. Yes, I will post the recipe, dreckly. That means when I get round to it! Happy New Year all x
On December 21st the Earth stood farthest away from the sun and an annual point of change took place, as the days began to lengthen again towards the coming seasons of Spring and Summer. This has been going on a lot longer than humans have been able to make calendars. So, as some individuals rue the number thirteen this year, others are grateful that we are all still here to celebrate anything at all, thanks to the laziness of the Mayans in not providing us with a longer calendar. Five thousand years wasn't enough for some!
Notwithstanding, it's the next few decades we all have to contend with, (your version of a) god willing. Or maybe, mankind willing, since we seem to have the casting vote in how to manage our own continuity as a species. Stirring and serious stuff Deb, now what?
You (thank you for reading!) may be wondering what the jolly heck I'm on about. I began writing this last evening soon after I and my husband had just watched the film Bruce Almighty, starring Jim Carrey, Morgan Freeman and Jennifer Aniston with her hair. It was great fun and carried a simple message to do with kindness and responsibility. This is what I wish a lot, though the calendar date plays little part in the efficacy of those wishes. All the New Year resolutions in the whole world won't make one jot of difference to how we end up unless we are all willing to behave more kindly, speak more truthfully and take more personal responsibility on a daily basis.
God has little to do with any of this I feel sure, as 'free will' is basically what humans live by. It is what defines us because we can change the world. Every day of our lives we make changes away from a place where natural processes happened at a pace snails could deal with, to one where instant messaging is no longer telepathic, if it ever was. Our instant, wasteful world is becoming the new nature.
No, thirteen isn't an unlucky number: unlucky is the soul that permits this kind of intrusive thinking, I reckon. We have choice which is a privilege in the mammalian world. We need to exercise it more in favour of life; far less with regard to 'luck' and excessively in the direction of kindliness. Truth is something we each grapple with because it is so conditional and personal; but it need not be frightening! Inconvenient maybe, but not something to avoid through fear. Our whole strange, disorganised, damp and colourful world could benefit greatly from individual humans waking up to their own truth. I think that would be a great day to add to the Calendar :)
Here is a nice picture of some cakes, they are free of wheat, low in fat (no added saturates) and have half the amount of sugar usual for sponge cakes. They were darned yummy. Yes, I will post the recipe, dreckly. That means when I get round to it! Happy New Year all x
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| Yumcakes! |
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